I’d like you to sit back and picture this in your mind. Try to put yourself in her place.
She just got the news that her worst fears have come true: she is pregnant. More often than not she is alone. Her boyfriend is gone, or will likely be too afraid to step forward at the time she needs him most.
She sometimes masks what is going on inside her heart, choosing instead to remain stoic on the outside and take the news with faked calm.
We have seen her sit there in shock, immediately burst into tears, or show little to no emotion at all. Some feel the need to be in control, so she may do everything she can to maintain that appearance.
But inside her heart is breaking. She is afraid to let out her anger, her pain, her sadness and the feeling of desperation that is telling her that life as she knows it is over.
We at CareNet believe that someone needs to be there for her.
That someone doesn’t necessarily need to have a therapist’s license or a degree in psychology. That someone doesn’t need to be the smartest or have the most soothing voice.
Instead, she truly needs that someone to be a person who cares and loves. It’s that simple.
That someone needs to be someone who loves enough to be patient, withholding advice and counsel until trust has been established.
That someone doesn’t need to have pity on those who see us, but that someone needs empathy.
Let me give you a few examples.
Client Stories: (names of been changed)
Susie was a senior in high school, active in her church, and had trusted in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior as a child. Her goal in life was to be a missionary in a foreign country. She had a problem: she was pregnant and not married. Susie stated she would have to get an abortion, because it would be a bad witness to have a child out of wedlock. She also stated she needed to go to college and get the knowledge she would need to minister to the people God was going to send her to. Susie felt she would break her parents hearts if they knew she had been sexually active. Her client advocate looked at her and confronted her with this question: “I want to make sure I got this correct. You feel you need to get an abortion because of the bad witness it would be to those you want to minister to, correct? What makes you think that having an abortion wouldn’t be a bad witness?” The look on her face cannot be forgotten. It was as if a light bulb got turned on and she said, “It never occurred to me.” Susie did carry her baby to term. After much thought and prayer she chose parenting over adoption. What a thrill it was last week when Susie stopped by with her son. We watched her face fill with pride and love as he stumbled around the room.
Nancy was in her early 20’s. She came into the center needing a referral to get an abortion. Her last pregnancy was fresh in her mind. She lost the baby at 6 months gestation. She was emotionally drained and felt she could not go through that again. By the time she admitted to herself that she really was pregnant five months had passed. Margaret realized that her emotional low was because she was fast approaching the stage of pregnancy that her other child had not survived. The only thing Margaret knew to do was to meet her emotional, spiritual, and physical needs as well as she could. Margaret and those at the Center began to intercede in prayer. She also befriended Nancy and introduced her to a local church where a young girl also befriended her. We watched as God softened her heart and took away the fear. Nancy began to feel that she could go through this again, she just needed support and someone to lean on. She called Margaret on December 31st. Her little boy survived and so did she. Nancy called to thank us and exclaimed, “Do you realize that you saved a life?” Margaret politely explained that no, God was the one who had saved a life.
Joe was in his late 20’s. He came to the center because his wife and he were having some problems and on top of all that they just found out she was pregnant. His wife planned to abort the baby and he was hurting and needed someone to talk to. Bill, our male counselor, talked with Joe while Tara talked with his wife, Carol. Carol was very angry and knew Joe would not help with this baby at all and she could not see herself raising the child alone. We worked with the two of them every week for several months. There were many tense times when both Joe and Carol had to face the truth about themselves, they both needed to change. Both Bill and Tara presented the Gospel to Joe and Carol. Carol eventually made the decision to put her trust in Jesus Christ and eventually decided to carry her baby to term. Joe is still struggling with who God is, but Bill was faithful to plant those seeds. It is so rewarding to see Carol as God continues to work in her life. Through much encouragement from her client advocate she is now attending a bible believing church and is pregnant once again. Her daughter is beautiful and has a smile that will melt your heart. Please, pray for Carol and Joe as they continue to work out their differences.
Linda was raising her 16 year-old granddaughter Debbie. Debbie had just told her she was pregnant. Linda had already raised her own children and now two grandchildren. She was overwhelmed with this information and demanded Debbie, I quote, “get rid of the problem.” Chris listened to Linda while Margaret sat in with Debbie. Chris found Linda to just be a worn out, over worked, loving grandmother. All she needed was for someone to listen and ask good questions. She began to see on her own that her God was there and He would work out all of these problems how He saw fit. Debbie needed a shoulder to cry on. She had been put into the position of having to defy her grandmother, she would carry the baby to term. Debbie had seen the emotional affects of her mother who had an abortion and did not want to put herself through that. When the four of them came together to talk, Linda apologized to her granddaughter and immediately the relationship began to mend. Through our referral system we were able to help both grandmother and granddaughter by placing Debbie in a Southern Baptist Maternity Home. God works in mysterious ways. Debbie did loose her child through miscarriage, but He used this situation to mend relationships and mature a young lady.
Melinda came to the center for a pregnancy test and abortion information. This was her second pregnancy and when her test came out positive she kept saying, “I can’t do this by myself again.” She had repeated that statement so often Chris finally questioned her, “What is it you can’t do by yourself again? Carry a baby to term or raise another child by yourself?” She stated that she could not raise another child by herself. She felt so defeated and run down by the choices she had made in life. Once she confirmed that it was not the pregnancy that was her main concern, but single parenting, her counselor offered her the unthinkable option of adoption. Melinda was open to having Chris bring in someone who had placed their child for adoption to talk with her. With that opening she immediately got up and had Anita call Rita. You could see God’s hand all over this. Rita had just come in from a trip and was available right then and there. God works in mysterious ways. Melinda and Chris talked about Jesus Christ while they waited for Rita. By the time Melinda walked out the door that day, she had a small piece of hope. We worked with Melinda for about a month before she made her final decision. She chose life. That little boy is as round and pudgy as he can be. Please keep Melinda in your prayers – she needs Jesus Christ in her life.
Joyce was raped by her boyfriend. She came to the center wanting an abortion because she did not want to bring a child conceived in that way into the world. Her parents divorced when she was 10 & her comment was that she “had been like a ping pong ball” between them. She did have a wonderful relationship w/her dad until she was 15 when she got pregnant. He has had no contact w/her since then. We talked about the emotional risks in having an abortion. Joyce stated she “knew” most everything about abortion as she did a report on it in school. She explained that her mom was Southern Baptist, her grandmother was a gypsy, and her boyfriend was Jewish. I introduced her to the gospel of Jesus Christ. She informed me she had chosen the path of WICCA, which is witch craft. She was very confused and Chris confronted her with the inconsistencies of her faith. Joyce left and her counselor’s heart was broken. She began to pray that God would intervene in the life of her child and that she would come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Two months later Joyce called to tell Chris she had chosen to place her baby in adoption. God is so good, He did intervene in the life of the child, please pray that He can soften her hard and broken heart.
Many people don’t realize that God has given us the opportunity and the heart to help men and women who have had an abortion.
Mary is one of those people. She is in her mid 40’s. She came to the center several months ago with a deep hurt and shame because she and her husband had decided to abort their first child because they were not married. She had trusted in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, but knew she had disobeyed Him. She stated that she lived with shame and guilt every day of her life. Mary was emotionally depleted, everything she did, read, and saw reminded her of her past. After much planning on his part her husband decided to leave her and their three other children., and she was devastated.
For several months Chris has walked with her through scripture and God began to heal her. She is beginning to realize that nothing can pluck her from the hand of God. His promises of love are for the repentant of heart. God has shown her just as He showed David of old, that He looks at the heart. David had committed the heinous sins of adultery and murder. After he had humbled himself before God and repented of these sins, he took courage and was assured of having obtained forgiveness. He then was fully persuaded that God was on his side and would protect him. Please pray for Mary. She still has a way to go, but with God on her side she will be victorious.